If someone makes you feel uncomfortable (even if it’s a friend or family member), clearly let them know. Don’t let politeness get in the way of standing up for yourself Listening to yourself means listening to your true voice. What does it mean to actively listen to yourself? It’s not about all the thoughts that run in your mind or the transient opinions you have about things. Smile at them and express how happy and grateful you are to be their friend and that they chose you to be their listener. It will also allow them to add to any point and feel satisfied with the experience of sharing their thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities with you. This assures them that you were carefully listening to them and that you valued their words. When they’ve said all they wanted to, give them a succinct summary of what they shared with you. One wrong indication could make them hold back and withdraw. If there’s something that you don’t understand, clarify it with them. Don’t say anything that sounds judgmental. If there is anything that you’re unsure about or any assumption that you’re drawing, ask them if you're right. When you’re done, apologize and ask them to continue. DO NOT check your phone unless it’s urgent, and in that case, tell them that you’re listening to them and you just have to check one important thing. If your attention starts to wander after some time, remind yourself that your friend needs you. Everything that you feel and say is valid.” 7. Say things like, “I know the amount of bravery it takes to be vulnerable, I am grateful that you’re sharing this with me” or “I’m here, I’m listening to everything that you are saying.”Īnd, when it feels that they’re restraining themselves, tell them, “You can keep going if you want to, I’m here. Put your hand on their shoulder and smile genuinely, make them feel that it’s okay to be vulnerable. It takes a great deal of courage to open up to someone and your friend might need reassurance from time to time to keep expressing their thoughts as they let you in their mind. Keep it short and bring the attention back to them. If your friend asks you to elaborate, then do, but don’t start telling your story on your own. Instead, you can say things like, “I can totally understand” or “I get what you mean” or “I have also been through a similar experience, so I fully empathize with you”. If you start to talk about yourself, your friend can feel unattended and discouraged to speak more. Be careful when sharing personal experiences
It’ll let them know that you are attentive and willing to listen more. Express yourself through facial expressions and small phrases. Instead of cutting their words to supply your own, do little things like nodding, gently patting on their shoulder, maintaining adequate eye contact, saying “Hmm” and “Okay”. If you make someone feel understood and listened to, it is more than enough. You are not required to offer solutions to their problems unless they ask you to. Feel grateful that your friend trusts you with their vulnerabilities. As an active listener, don’t worry about saying the right things or filling in silences. Let them know that there will be no judgments and that you’re here to listen to anything that they have to say. Make sure that where you are is a place without disturbances and that your friend feels comfortable.
Create a comfortable environment for them to let their thoughts and feelings out Even in between conversations, if something is triggering or traumatic for you, don’t hesitate to express your discomfort.
If you are in a tough situation yourself and listening to them could worsen your state, tell them that right now it’s hard for you to attend to anyone and you’ll reach out to them when you’ll be ready. If you have a work or personal commitment, clearly communicate with them. Be careful when sharing personal experiencesīefore letting your friend start speaking about their feelings, be clear if you have the time or energy to listen to them.Create a comfortable environment for them to let their thoughts and feelings out.9 Tips to Improve Active Listening Skills And, the most helpful thing that we can do for someone in pain is to actively listen to them, with love and empathy. In hard times like these, it becomes essential for us to look out for one another. This year brings the hope of new beginnings but the wounds are still fresh. We sought ways to feel better, whole and loved, to find some source of positive light.
The feelings of loneliness, hopelessness, fear, stagnation, and constant bad news made it challenging for us to be happy and hopeful, day after day. Getting through 2020 was one of the hardest things that we did as a society. Here are 9 tips to become a great active listener to others and yourself.Īctive listening skills are more important than ever. 9 Easy Tips to Improve Your Active Listening Skills
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